Whoa. Yesterday's entry was emo.. too emo I should say. Which is why I deleted it. Anyways, yup, I am waiting for my Dad to come here to Singapore. As he's then leaving next Monday, most probably I'll be leaving together with him. So so so so so why do I want to leave? Simple lah: no scholarships means I can leave Singapore what. Things will probably be different had I got myself a s'ship (oh yes, but those are only for smart-ass and diligent pple who can withstand pressure extremely well). Getting a scholarship means I free my parents from the tuition fees burden+living allowance. Also, getting a scholarship means you're smart and that you should continue doing your studies here (so recommended that they even give you a scholarship).

Ya la ya la, call me a loser or whatever if you do think it suits me. My GP grade sucks big time, which is the main culprit for me not getting a scholarship. But also, I can't stand the pressure that comes with Singapore education.. you know, all the endless competitions, pleasing sounding "merit-based" policy which actually only means results orientated. "Good results? welcome aboard!; bad results? go pay yourself la!" I am bitter? Well YES! YES! And I have the right to be bitter, don't I?

Bottomline is, if Singapore education doesn't suit me much, doesn't explore my strength enough, doesn't enable me to display what I got, why insist? Why even bother continuing here doing a course that I don't even want to do? True la, I can probably still pull through, you know, probably enjoy the lessons, learn new things, pull not-so-bad grades, find a few very good friends, blah blah. But walao, isn't it equal to faking everything? Putting everything that I'm supposed (read: I want) to do at the back of my head and just face whatever tasks I have now?

If life is short, why don't just we live the life we want RIGHT NOW?

Bleah.. probably I AM a loser after all, for running away from all the pressure here.. but anyway, a (wo)man's gotta do what a (wo)man's gotta do. For me, it is the pursuing of my dreams that I really wanna do right now. Not doing some BUSINESS ADMINISTRATION course in some vibrant university, for goodness’ sake!