Finally, SOOCA is over! I've never imagined there'd be such nerve-wrecking moments in my life. Perspirations, palpitations, headaches, tremor.. every symptoms of panic attacks all at once! And it wasn't just me; it happened to almost everyone inside the isolation room.
Confused much? Ok, here's the thing.
SOOCA, in second year, is an oral exam testing the med student's on their comprehensive knowledge about the 31 cases on reproductive system, endocrine system, and neurobehavior (neurology + psychiatry), all of which have been learnt for the past year. Doesn't sound too bad this way, but the truth is, SOOCA is soooo scary because:
1. it is preluded with an isolation system where all students who are having the exam on that day are crammed into one room, each with their own worries. imagine the situation! and not one person -even the brightest, most prepared ones- is not worried.
2. out of the 31 cases learnt, only 7 will be tested per day. out of the 7 tested, each student will only get to present ONE single case. point is, can't even think about leaving even a single case out, because it might just be the one that we have to present. the cases that have come out today may or may not be coming out the next day. aaaargghh.
of course, there were nice doctors who would give us clues + directions on what cases would come out.. but still,, there is no guarantee...3. the case presentation would be done in a small room whereby there will only be the student and two doctors as examiners. tension!
4. the score would be told to the student at the end of his/her presentation. more tension!
5. the score would weigh exactly 50% of the 26 credits we take for reproductive, endocrine, and neurobehavior system! which means.. if we screw this up, there's hardly any chance to pull up our grades (the written exam is more difficult, but less distress-causing). wayyyy more tension!
6. it is not impossible to fail! and this is the worst part, i think. because, once one fails, one can only get a maximum C for the exam..
ahhhh! conclusion is.. i think my panic attacks were well-reasoned-out.. :D
what happened to me?
okay, to be honest, i wanted so badly to nail sooca down. i wanted to get a very, very high A. why? i kind of screwed up my reproductive system written exam, and a very high A could lay me an A still for repro. i didn't want to wind up retaking my written exam just to chase the A grade during remedials in mid-july later, because i signed up for the exchange to spain and i really wanted to go.
so, i prepared myself for the war.
there were group studies, staying-over-at-jessi's-place, burning-out-the-midnight-oil, sleepless nights..
but still, i don't have enough time to prepare. or maybe my time management wasn't good enough. or maybe again, my overdetailed approach on every cases cost me too much time.
i didn't go through every case properly..
so on the day of exam, i panicked. in the isolation room, where one should be relaxing or reviewing, i was frantically trying to memorize facts.. when my name finally got called, there was nothing i could do anymore, so i just gathered my things, said my prayer..believing in miracle. as always. (i have lots of encounters with miracle in the past oral exams :) )
went to the drawing room, pulled out a card numbered 11. Didn't have a clue what case would no.11 be. Being handed on the question paper. Trying to read from the back, but the doctor in charge quickly told us not to.
and the case was..
STROKE. atherothrombotic infarct stroke.i read through the question paper. whatttt?? this is so different from the case we learnt! what possibly cause the stroke?? there's no risk factor..
and why is the sensory function spared while the lesion is on the parietal lobe???
damn damn..
and why can't i remember about the difference between central lesions and peripheral lesions of cranial nerve VII and XII?
oh man.
i tried to calm down. and wrote down whatever i think is relevant.
30 minutes went away fast.
it was time for me to enter the presentation room.
the examiners were.. dr.nurdjaman -neurologist- and dr.birgitta -pathologist-
heard they were lineant..
i presented. dr. nurdjaman asked a lot of questions during my presentation (guiding questions, definitely)..
i screwed up my explanations on cranial nerve.
i didn't explain the histology of brain because i didn't think i have to.
i didn't explain the role of glutamate in stroke because i didn't think i have to.
i totally forgot to mention the ethical aspect of the case.
i was asked to leave the room for a while after my presentation; apparently the two doctors need to discuss something.
and then i was called back.
and..
i conquered. :)
not in the full sense of the word, no, because i didn't achieve that high, high A that i have in mind.
but..
it is still an A and it is still a nice score to have and it still feels like it's worth all the pain i went through studying for the exam.
i conquered!
eventhough i don't think i deserve the conquest.
ahhh.. miracle yet again. thank You.
written exams coming up! and skill exams too..
shall start preparing again. a day's break is never much. but it is enough.
sidenote:
want to watch angels & demons.
want to go for vacation.. bali? singapore?
want to eat good food.. jatinangor's food is getting boring.
happy because Roland Garos's on TV!!! :) :) Go Roger, go Roger!
i remember situations whereby i couldn't wait for the day to be over. lots of such situations, actually :D
however, i only can recall ONE particular incident whereby the situation went on for weeks, even months, in a degree so deep even the memory of it pains me. it happened five years back, when i was in my first year of junior college. i shouldn't talk about why.
my daily activity went like this: every morning, i wouldn't want to wake up; i would hate the rituals of taking a bath, putting on my uniform, taking breakfast downstairs at the Dunman canteen, and taking a bus to school. as a result, i would delay my waking-up time until it was just enough time for me to do rush through everything. i hated seeing people, i would purposely not saying hi to anyone i met. i avoided any kind of school work. i skipped school whenever i could get away with it. i did not go out. i shut myself from everyone.
the overall effect? well, as expected, my life was a mess.
it took time to rebuild what was left of me.. luckily i had friends to help me get through it :)
well. that was the first i ever had, and, as is everything first, there's bound to be the second, third, fourth, etc.
i have been to the second.
similar symptoms, similar signs. lucky thing, this time i anticipated it ^^
therefore, i was able to put forward certain steps to manage the outcome. and i have dearboyfriend to help me through it.
now i'm back! haha..
SOOCA, here I come! i'm prepared to win you over ;)
btw. i just watched harry potter and the half blood prince's trailer on
EH's blog.
it's dark in a captivating, calling-you-over-to-find-out-more way. seductive.
anyway. i signed up for the a research exchange to spain since february, but haven't been notified about the outcome yet... true, i was told that i am
the only one signing up from Indonesia, and true again, Indo has one slot to be filled.. but then again, what can I do if Spain doesn't want me?? btw, a classmate -JC- has been notified that she's going to Czech. coolness!
back to daily grind..
i have these many task to do :
1. learning issue (in class): physiology of vision. due TOMORROW.
2. learning issue (in academic div.): dizziness and vertigo. due TUESDAY.
3. SOOCA draft : diabetes mellitus, cerebral palsy. due TUESDAY.
4. Olymphiart: secretary's report. due TUESDAY.
5. AMSA research team: chief report. due TUESDAY.
6. lab activity: anatomy, histology, physiology of eye. due TOMORROW.
7. AMSA multicenter research: call & meet up dr. bachti. due THURSDAY.
ok, shall stop procastinating!
"procastination is the thief of time" - anonymous