I've been reading my old entries for the past few hours.. What a life I had in Singapore :) full of emotions -laughters and cries-

Anyway.. I read the entries for a reason. I am currently faced with a situation similar to what I encountered almost four years ago. I am determined that the outcome is not the same..

What bugged me these days are not these stuff, though. It is something else.. Probably as a result of certain failure in my oral stage of psychodevelopment, I have grown as an individual who can easily "fall". Recently, there has been one particular stimuli which intermittently pushes me backward and pull me back up. I am rocked, and I don't like it. It would be easier if it just goes away, but I'm not sure I want it to go away (actually, it kinda feels like guilty pleasure for now). I'm trying to balance myself as best as I could, but as experience had it, I tend to not be balanced anyway -I tend to follow my heart, ignoring my head- only to realize in the end that, I should have learned my balancing acts more dilligently..

history is there so that mankind doesn't repeat mistakes done in the past, but can we ever do so?


Updates!
It was election day yesterday.. and.. I confess I am guilty of not voting! I had no opinion about which party or senator will be best representing me.. so I chose not to say anything. I'm sorry, dear Indonesia.. Next time I'll do better than this.

OLYMPHIART is coming in three days' time. Hopefully our hard work, sweats and tears have not gone in waste; hopefully this competition brings forth to all the campus community what it is supposed to bring: joy, fun, and togetherness. Amin.

It's been three months since I joined Senat and Olymphiart OC.. and boy, what vast knowledge, what colorful experience I've encountered.. Ecstasy, dismay, drive, pushing-through-when-everything-seems-impossible.. True, it presents the challenge of balancing studies and work, and probably it requires a certain sacrifice on fun, but the whole experience has not been less than satisfying.

Another benefit that I have come to experience is,
that in the process of doing all these, I begin to come to terms with myself. I begin to let myself be, not controlling it so much. I begin to let loose. I begin to dream again. Like a cripple suddenly having a newfound faith, I who have been wounded and scared, is earning the will to learn to walk again.
The work smoothes it out, but I know this awakening is first initiated by YOU.
Thankyou so much.