chickens follow their hen mother, do they not?
i've got nothing to say!
sigh...

anyway, today jaq came over to dunman hostel... we were supposed to be studying physics and chemistry. the first two hours went well, but after sherly and timo started to stay with us, the plan went haywire!!! we were talking, talking, talking about this-and-that-thing-plus-those-and-these-people... and so, until about 6pm, practically jaq and i were doing nothing but chatting. but yea, it's always good to catch up with old friends. i almost felt as if it was the first three months in tjc again.. haha...

but jaq and timo also exchanged a lot about us university applications.. which kinda made me 'burn' with envy.. why didn't i have the courage to apply? i don't know.. maybe i don't like the fuss of writing personal statement, getting testimonials from teachers and taking SAT.. but if it is so, i think i've missed a great deal, yeah? as in, how if one day i look back to this time of my life and think, "shit, why didn't i do it then?? why didn't i even try?". i dunno. i mean, it's still not too late to start applying for rd or whatever they call it.. i hope i'll come to a decision soon. very soon.

i would love to live in US ya.. what a new experience it will be..

uhh.. and i think the sense of uncertainty about what i want to do in university is killing me.. i really don't know.. i mean i know this sounds immature, not even realizing what you truly want, but my wish keeps changing as i age.. i remember when i was 9 and 10 i wanted to be an architect like dad. when i was 11 and 12 i wanted to be a teacher. 13 i wanted to be a secretary. 14 was engineer, 15 was economist. 16 and 17 i wanted to be a teacher again. and now.. 18 and 19.. i really don't have an idea.. i don't even know what to do. mother says i should do things that are more practical, like business or economy or management; but father says i'll be better off doing sciencey-mathematics stuff, or engineering at worst.

but the thing is, i don't even know what i want. i never tried my hands on business, economy or whatever, so how am i supposed to know that it suits me? and jc sciences has nearly killed me (if it had not already done so, actually), so how am i to cope to sciences in university?

i long for a refreshing wind.. but i dunno where to look for it.. yup..

shall stop whining lar.. by the way, maybe the trip to bali in january may not be cancelled after all, since timo has kindly offered his dad's assistance and networking power to get us a good holiday plan.. hmmm... i would love to go bali! it's been long time since the last trip there.. heehee..