basically...
i am very very grateful that nothing happened to Dad during bali bombings (1st october 2005, 07.30pm) despite his close proximity with the restaurants that were blasted off...
i got 45% for general paper.. thanks to my essay... it sucks like shit... but it's 0.5% improvement compared to jct.. but then again, it looks like the whole cohort is doing well this time..
and... the most worrying thing...
i have zero motivation to study..
how how? "A"s in 5weeks' time, but i am not driven to work..

on another note,
i forgot to talk about this when blogging about scgs outing.. perhaps because i was too excited by the prospects of a holiday to malaysia after "a"s..
i notice THAT:
the whole world except tjcians are applying to overseas university!!!
some apply to US. some apply to UK. almost all are hoping for scholarships, but they say that they'll make do with half-scholarships or even loans..
some of their results are just equally as bad as mine, yet they have the confidence to apply overseas.. when i asked whether it was worth it (coz the process is just so tedious), they all say that in their colleges, it was the norm to apply overseas, so it didn't feel all that tedious..
sighs. i still remember talking about studying overseas during our scgs days. and how that hope somehow fades away when i enter tjc. nope, i'm not regretting being in tjc.. in fact, i treasure a lot of things that i get from this college.. it's just that, why is it so different being in tjc? why most tjcians only aim for NUS or NTU? why not go beyond that? nah.. i'm blaming circumstances again.. it's really not tjcians' fault that i let my dream of studying overseas to go away..
asih suggested me to apply overseas anyway.. but i don't know.. i'm not so sure.. is it wise to bother myself with these stuff at this point of time? isn't it a little late already?

nevermind... i think it's me and my bad mood again this time. tomorrow shall be a brighter day.