my ever loyal readers, today i want to be heard.

have you ever been through a day where everything just seems so horrifying? where you screw up everything you do and it seems that everybody's ignoring you? today is one such day for me, but if you happen to be a girl, you would agree with me that those bad feelings can be attributed to one word: PMS. yeah.

aaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrgggggghhhhhhhhh.

i feel like running away from all these stupid mugging. i don't hate studying, in fact i enjoy it, but when the pressure to do well starts to well up, it gets stressful. real stressful. and the fact that my hormones release less endorphin nowadays (which is supposed to make you feel happy) doesn't help, either.

i have been toying with the idea of visualizing my university days to get me to study. but it doesn't prove to be effective. i don't know why. usually imagining your glory will motivate me, but it seems to lose its effect on me already.

i have also been considering lots of courses, ranging from pure academic subjects like physics and maths to pure application subjects like architecture but i still can't make up my mind. heck i can't even decide which university i want to go to. hmm, perhaps the problem lies there. i don't have a goal, a destination, how on earth i expect myself move towards that destination? but people are telling me that now isn't the best time to decide on such stuff, because i've got more urgent matters in hand. yeah like prelims.

and i am so gonna get two UNCLASSIFIED for my s-paper prelims.

i feel people are just so irritating nowadays, too. and sometimes i want to blame some innocent people while i am actually angry about something that i can't get angry about or angry to someone who i'm not in talking terms with.

and all these thoughts disturb me from peacefully studying, despite the fact that i've moved to reading room during the day and only use my room for bathing.

forgive me readers, if this entry has sounded very negative. this is my mood at the moment and, as far as i understand, blogs are supposed to cater for my moodswings, too, among other purposes. maybe i should just go get some ice cream or chocolate. they release endorphins. ah perhaps a run, even.

study hard, pple.