4:39 PM
Thursday, September 29, 2005
post-prelims post, some might say..
i know i didn't do well.. but dunno why i'm not sad? okey la maybe sad for physics.. but i am really okay with the rest of the subjects hahahaz.
these are my results.. for all (except chem), i am lazy to do the % calculation, so it's a diy, ok.. and the grades haven't come out yet, by the way..
CHEMISTRY: 48% (ehei, it's a much improved from jct's 28%)
FURTHER MATHS:
paper 1: 62/100
paper 2: 43/100 (thanks to mechanics)
MATHS C:
paper 1:73/100
paper 2:93/100
PHYSICS:
paper 1:32/60 (walaoooo)
paper 2:52/90 (first time passing paper 2!!)
paper 3:82/110
GP results haven't come out.. So do S-paper results..
I'm predicting ACDE C6 UU
Hehehe... lalala...
By the way, I have decided:
1. I'm going to do maths at either NUS or NTU =D more inclined to go to the latter, coz if i happen to get 3'A's for A-levels, i could finish studying and getting a Honours degree in three years! That means, graduating when i'm 23. Cool.
2.On my second year, I'll study stats, so that I could work as statisticians/surveyors, hopefully in a bank or finance company. While working, I could therefore pick up some finance and management skills, something that I'm keen to learn but not willing to study in university.
3.When I'm 26, or at most 27, any bond related to tuition grant would have ended.. Then it'd be time to go back Indo and working there..
Maybe continuing to become surveyor first, then studying maths in even more in-depth after I have enough money.. after having high enough degree, maybe I'd apply to become a lecturer in one of the university in my city, therefore fulfilling my childhood dream of becoming a teacher.
Oh yea.. CINDERELLA MAN is one very very good movie. Even I the anti-crying-in-the-movie one, cried dunno how many times throughout the two hours. Looking back, I think what makes it good is the inspiration that miracle exists even in toughest time. I mean we pple constantly needs to believe in something, right? That there is something more to our lives, the purpose why we are created and why we live.. That's why we believe in God, some choose to believe in miracles, etc... coz I think life by itself is too much to bear, and we find comfort in believing that there is a purpose to all the hardship of lives?
Ugh and next time around I won't listen to Zhenhua or Jony for movie recommendations. They told me that The Myth was very good, and I succumbed to it. Went to watch it yesterday with Asih and Jas and uuurggghhhh.. it sucks like shitttttt. One hour into the movie, I started to become very very restless already, not able to wait for the movie to be over so that I can do something else. Two hours spent watching it was two hours too many! Grrrrrrr.
And we celebrated Adrian's birthday last last night... hahaha... okay la, not 'celebrated', actually we only gave him the present.. sum perverted mug that Dipta recommended, sum trash-talking teddy bear and *something* in a test tube plus the refill. The only proper gift was the nike cap. And thanks to the good hands of sher, er, fungus, and sw (i was just a spectator-cum-host when they waved their magic fingers), those perverted stuff turned out to be cute (but still perverted).
Errrm... i think ****** is very sad over her results. I thought I heard her crying... But I dunno what to do... Sighz.
By the way, by the way. I'm quite encouraged by my chem results. I know I only got 48%, but it was almost mainly due to my physical and inorganic chem (coz my organic chem knowledge is practically zero).. about 40 out of that 48 is from physical and inorganic, so... erm.. yea.. I guess I could do better once I get my hold on my organic chem.. A friend has shared one strategy.. I'm gonna try it out..
i miss a lot of ppl... marche outingg, i can't waitttt! hurry, saturday, come!
12:28 PM
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
blackpepper seafood pasta in swensens' is first-class...
everybody, go and try!!
erm. whatelse ya?
haha. salute salute to er who always can find things tt suit adrian
maybe you're destined to find those kind of things la er.
okey i gtg... buying engtze's birthday present soon..
scgs babes, see you all on 1st october!
marche outing yayyyy!
till then, farewell.
11:50 PM
Sunday, September 25, 2005
this entry is again about my past. so yea, skip it. got lots of boring details unknown to most of you..can i ask a question to the world? if an acquintance (yeah, not even a friend..) do real bad things to me (s)he made me cry, am i supposed to just accept the apology asked after a few years down the road, and pretend as if nothing had happened before? and accept the plea to accept him/her as a friend? izzit so?
sighz! they say, "the past is in the past" but even if it is so, i think all of us are made up of our pasts.. and taking away those past is taking away some part of ourselves. yupp. im getting very cheem but nevermind.
cannot la. even when the friend was apologizing i was close in tears. very close. maybe if at that point of time somebody go and hit me jokingly from the back, i can easily cry. the memory of that period was that bad.
hmm.. but i think it's just fair to reply that "hey i cant forgive. not yet, at least.", yeah? so i think i'm going to do just that. ciao.
11:57 AM
sometimes there are songs that just won't get out of my head.. here's one.. by a genius who calls himself jamiroquai, titled seven days in sunny june
The papers you've arranged
In a sense they're strange
They speak to me like constellations as we lie here
There's a magic I can't hold
Your smile of honey gold
And that you never seem to be in short supply of
Oooooh so baby let's get it on
Drinkin' wine and killin' time
Sitting in the summer sun
You know I've wanted you so long
Why'd you have to drop that bomb on me
The lazy days
Crazy dolls
You said we've been friends for too long
Seven days in sunny June
But long enough to bloom
The flowers on the sunlight dress you wore in spring
The way we laughed as one
And then you dropped the bomb
But I know you too long for us to have a thing
Gotta get this
The stories in your eyes
Tell of silent wings
You fly away on
Seven days in sunny June
But long enough to bloom
The flowers on that sunbeamed dress you wore in spring
Yeah yeah
The way we laughed as one
Why did you drop that bomb on me
Could it be this
The honey suckled dancing you'd seem to show me
Could it be this
For seven days in June I wasn't lonely
Could it be this
You never gave me time to say I love you
Could it be this
I know you don't believe me but it's so true
Don't walk away from me girl
I read the stories in your eyes
Don't you walk away from me girl
I read the stories in your eyes
Don't you walk away from me girl
I read the stories in your eyes
Don't you walk away from me
I read the stories in your eyes
If you've been telling me we've been friends for too long
Yeah
Why'd you wanna drop the bomb
Telling me we've been friends for too long
Why'd you go and drop the bomb
You tell me that we've been friends for too long
Yeah
7:46 PM
Thursday, September 22, 2005
weeheeeee! down to one more paper to go: 9233/00! go figure what paper that is.
anyway. i think i am
totally screwed for prelims.
i know i'm going to only get FIVE marks for mechanics (out of forty something), because the rest of the thing i seriously dunno how to do. actually i dun even know what the question is talking. string here and there, attached to some particles and rotated and blah blah. i just.dont.get.it.
so my fmaths is definitely a gone case.
my chemistry also! hahahaa. i got a feeling it's gonnabe F again this time. at most i can push it to an O. bwahahaha. but nevermind. i know my organic sucks, and i'm getting help! hehe.. from the smart Jaq who scores A for her chem. lalala...
physics... arghhh. don't want to talk about it. i felt paper 3 was ok, but definitely not paper 1 nor two. and i heard max of 07/04 got full marks for his paper one. wow.
maths is my only hope. d'oh. i am a further maths student... if i can't rely on my maths c, then i might as well die, yeah.
erm, and today's physics s was really kicking ass.. (it rhymes!).
section a, the compulsory section, was reasonably hard.
but section b, the 6choose3 section, was UNreasonably hard.
i'll be on my knees if i can get, like, erm, thirty or forty percent.
and by the way, tjc physics teachers are LAZY. they simply use last year 'A'-levels for physics s to be our question paper for prelims. walao.
i'm ready for my results.. come what may!
on another note,
i spoke to dad the other day about my worries on not getting scholarship for university. and guess what he said? he said, it's okay!
can you believe??? he said that it was okayyy!
he even said that he would pay for my university education :)
there goes one major concern of my life these days. yayyeee.
i mean, three years ago, i remembered them telling me that they really hoped i'd gonnabe keep doing well in school and earning scholarships for the rest of my life so that they can save up for my siblings to get equally as good education (meaning, sending them overseas).
knowing my jc results, i know that getting scholarship is rather impossible already, so the other day i gather all courage to ask him...
aren't you proud of me??
what else yeah? how about these:
corpse bridge
four brothers
nightwatch
herbie reloaded
i want to watch those!!! but no money lah. so sadddd.
better go watch anime with sher. it's free! just borrow pat's comp.
i found NICOLAE in library and so badly wanted to borrow it.
coz i know my weekend is gonnabe a bit de empty.
and i lazy to go out coz i just wanna cozy up in my lil room.
but then.. stooped library system was down today.. have to try my luck tomorrow..
i think that's about it yeah..
nothing much is going on in my life, apparently :p
gotta regain my life back soon, like clara said..
2:00 PM
Friday, September 16, 2005
warning: if you are easily bored, skip this entry. it's for my own viewing pleasure.checked on my friendster, and i found a FriendRequest by this person who called himself mahendra. i was like "who the...?"
so went on to check on his friendster page. saw the photos. ehhh. looked quite familiar yea? progressed on to the subsequent photos.. getting a clearer picture of who he is.. and then.. a EUREKA! i know who he is!!! he's dedy, my sec2 classmate's brother. i remembered that the brother was the one who kinda taught me and a few friends how to improve on our music (we used to be in a band, preparing from some school event..) during our preparations. i can even view the brother's pic from his friendster.. you can if you want to (if you happen to have nothing better to do, that is).
and my, that simple friendster page brings a lot of memories rushing through my brain.. tireless days after school, going to ursula's house to have our lunch, then proceeded to nicko's to have some practice session (back then we didn't call it jammin). dedy would always be there with us kids, listening to the music we made and try to suggest this and that. probably the biggest contributor in the whole group.
it was a short two to three months period, one that is full of tears for me, coz everytime i come back home, my parents just won't understand why i had to be out from six a.m. to nine or ten p.m just for some band thing.. and another member of the group happened to hate me so much i couldn't take it and chose to leave the group after our first school gig. yupp. sad memory, huh. and i don't really remember it anymore (actually didn't remember it existed even), but today, everything came in again.
and that brother, dedy, hmm. i just didn't expect to ever hear from him again.
8:18 PM
Friday, September 09, 2005
two nights ago, a good friend, whose (sadly) friendship i doubt sometimes, composed this for me.. which kind of chased away all those doubts..
rain falls, thunder strikes.still the sun is there for the earth.to shine afterwards.i fall, my heart breaks.still you are there for me,to help me.you make me believe,after gloomy and dark sk,there is a colourful rainbow.but to me, you are my rainbow,'coz when blackness surrounds me,i realise how colorful and beautiful our friendship is.i whisper to the wind in this bland night,i just want to thank you.there is something weird about the way it was written (i think) but who cares yeah? i think.. it's really time for me to learn to trust again...
i flipped my two-year-old diary yesterday morning, and realized that there was some very dark periods that happen to me which could make me almost in tears just by reading it. however, at the same time it makes me treasure whatever i'm having now, and those dark periods serve a very important purpose as a reminder that, hey, life is not so bad today. you've been through worse stuff, so obviously you can handle this one.
yey. life is beautiful.
10:05 AM
Wednesday, September 07, 2005
perhaps one of the best thing that happened throughout this two-weeks study break had happened already: yesterday's moe briefing on air tickets! yeeppp.. as sianz as it might sound, no matter how boring the talk was, i got to meet my old buddies.. and it felt so good! haha.
mel's in good shape, i think she lost a lot of weight and now lookin' great! her hair also looks nice. oh yea it felt good to tease her again, with the guy from tjc that she danced with in ASEAN night. it turned her speechless straighatway. lolz.
jaq, yes, and
mer were also there.. didn't talk much with them except the crapping and the teasing about yes's toyboy. hohoho. four of us got the spongebob-no-pants toy from moe. i guess that is the way for good friends, is it? even seeing each other can make me feel very good. let alone having a long, nice talk with them about our current lives, yea? i can't wait for the outing after prelims!
the rest of the malaysians..
yun ru, she becomes one very girly girl, she even wears PINK SHOES! how does she get that centil-ness?? but her haircut is still as short as ever :p
wanxin, the always enthu one, she's still very smart with her 2 s-papers in HC. but still as childish as ever. oh yea she proposed us scgs gals to stay together in a house after 'a's while we are working in singapore. oh man i'am ALL for it. imagine a cjc hostel without some irritating people. i even saw
poi! haha. she looks a bit different with her new long hair, but still as non-sense as ever. it's weird to see her without her best friend in scgs
shueh wen, though. wondering where she is now. the vj gal
eng tze was missing in action... i didn't see her, nor serene.. saw
de lian for a brief second but dunno why she never came over to our small talk.
mel's ex-roommate
hanh was also there.. she didn't change much.
hahaaaaa. sorry if i bore you guys with things about pple that you don't know... but i'm just feeling ssooooo gooood after seeing them! point of the story: it's nice when one knows that friendship formed in two years of staying together remain as bonded as ever despite the fact that we hardly see each other. true, some of us have changed--looks, personality, whatever. but the fact that we used to be scgs girls, that we used to stay in that homey cjc hostel (minus the mistress, of course) continued to exist in our heart. i dunno about them, but i truly treasure the memory i have there (you can see this when i'm suddenly smiling by myself.. haha). i love them. i love them. i'd bet the same thing happen for the friendships formed here in dunman yeah... i guess this is really the gift of friendship =)
10:22 AM
Sunday, September 04, 2005
hey hey hey!
hahaha i think yesterday's hell was really just due to hormones, because today i'm back on track again! woke up with high spirit, and was about to do my daily roomshift to reading room when i see this computer room and think, 'hey why not tell the world that i'm okay already?'.
actually i talked to a few friends yesterday about my depression and it felt much better after doing so. the fact that some craziest girls in jb was using my room as their new newspaper (plus playing and cock-talking) room also helped. i was so entertained last night i went to bed with a very good mood. hihihi this is called
'the real gift of friendship', not to be confused with the definitions given by sher or er.
PEOPLE I'M SO STUDYING HARD TODAY! I'M GOING TO GET ADDICTED TO STUDYING LIKE PATTY LIM FUNGSHIN!
bye bye. study hard, pple!
P.S. the book
group that er lent me is proven to be very, very good. she should really go and read it instead of letting it lying around in her drawer..
8:09 PM
Saturday, September 03, 2005
my ever loyal readers, today i want to be heard.
have you ever been through a day where everything just seems so horrifying? where you screw up everything you do and it seems that everybody's ignoring you? today is one such day for me, but if you happen to be a girl, you would agree with me that those bad feelings can be attributed to one word: PMS. yeah.
aaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrgggggghhhhhhhhh.
i feel like running away from all these stupid mugging. i don't hate studying, in fact i enjoy it, but when the pressure to do well starts to well up, it gets stressful. real stressful. and the fact that my hormones release less endorphin nowadays (which is supposed to make you feel happy) doesn't help, either.
i have been toying with the idea of visualizing my university days to get me to study. but it doesn't prove to be effective. i don't know why. usually imagining your glory will motivate me, but it seems to lose its effect on me already.
i have also been considering lots of courses, ranging from pure academic subjects like physics and maths to pure application subjects like architecture but i still can't make up my mind. heck i can't even decide which university i want to go to. hmm, perhaps the problem lies there. i don't have a goal, a destination, how on earth i expect myself move towards that destination? but people are telling me that now isn't the best time to decide on such stuff, because i've got more urgent matters in hand. yeah like prelims.
and i am so gonna get two UNCLASSIFIED for my s-paper prelims.
i feel people are just so irritating nowadays, too. and sometimes i want to blame some innocent people while i am actually angry about something that i can't get angry about or angry to someone who i'm not in talking terms with.
and all these thoughts disturb me from peacefully studying, despite the fact that i've moved to reading room during the day and only use my room for bathing.
forgive me readers, if this entry has sounded very negative. this is my mood at the moment and, as far as i understand, blogs are supposed to cater for my moodswings, too, among other purposes. maybe i should just go get some ice cream or chocolate. they release endorphins. ah perhaps a run, even.
study hard, pple.