Haizzz! I don't know why when the last thing I want to think about is my future, suddenly the whole world start to revolve around it.
Like the career talk in school today.
Like the career exhibition.
Like a friend blog's entry.
Like a friend asking my opinion about dropping subject.
The brightsparks talk reinforced my view that it's actually okay to make mistakes about your education choice.. It's not as if I regretted coming to Singapore (I did learn much stuff here), but I don't wanna stay. I wanna go back and go study medicine. Keiz, made a mistake by agreeing coming here (think about the PR-citizenship thing already), and now wanna rectify that mistake by goin back, but parents disagreed :( Just because they don't want to be blamed for choosing the wrong path for me last time. (I don't blame them, 'twas my own decision to come here, but I guess relatives and friends won't think of it that way, so, too bad!)
Career exhibition... was only interested in the MOE teaching scholarship. Guess I'm born to teach. (Anyway, no way of studying Medicine here, me being double-maths student and alll...) The starting salary is almost $3,000 and I didn't mind that lolz. (Haha, that means more about seventeen million rupiahs!!!). So prolly that's it for me if I were to continue studying here.
Quite interested in Bachelor of Science (Real Estate), too, actually =D It has something to do with architecture, civil engineering and finance. Hmm. Multi-disciplinary subject! Dunno la. But the prospect of teaching (and lecturing, and researching) is waaayyyy more tempting to me than trying to estimate the value of property.
Blah blah...
Anyway, what a friend was saying is kinda valid:
When there are all those talks about scholarships and all (and how good you should be in order to get those scholarships), I just can't help feeling so transparent... as if people's eyes can see right through me :( I know most prolly this is only my feeling, but what would tutors and Singaporean students (no offense, really!) be thinking, seeing me and other foreign scholarship holders, being paid for by their government (a.k.a. their parents' money), yet not doing well at all in school?
I don't think I deserve the word "scholar".
And seriously, even if it does look glam and prestigious from outside (even on resume, yes), but then it is seriously not LIKE THAT once you're in.
What is there is just: people's expectation about you and how to meet that expectation. And of course, the feeling as if being watched.
I personally think it will make you accustomed to putting people's interest before you, and you end up having no time for yourself.
btw, click here for a bit of fun:
http://crux.baker.edu/cdavis09/roses.html