10:00 PM
Monday, March 28, 2005
2.4k timing: 16'25"
THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO RUN WITH ME: WINNIE + SHERWIN!
BIGGG THANKSto ASIH, my beloved pacer!
Yayyyeeeee.
I made it I made it.
And I have rewarded myself a can of H2O (sadly, 7Eleven didn't have the Original Flavour today.. so I had to drink Sparkling..)
I made it I made it.
I am sooo not over it soon.
Hahhaa
Byebye...
9:49 PM
Sunday, March 27, 2005
Okay so I attempted to (finally) give the design of my future room in the new house (in Indo) some thoughts today. Drafted a few sketches here and there but didn't exactly come to any conclusion.. WHY? Simply, because too many demands made by self about the room.
Demand One: study table has to be BIG (that boils down to something like 2 by 1 or 2.5 by 1, all units measured in metres) and it has to be located near the window leading to the balcony.
Demand Two: bookshelf, cd player, and guitar has to be within arm's reach as long as i'm on my bed.
Demand Three: die die also has to have dressing table, because as I grow up, I believe I gotta put on make-up. (and the room won't be occupied by me until I am something like 22-23 years old..).
Demand Four: laptop should be located on the study table (because it should be able to assist my work) BUT has to be quite near to the bed, too. This is really tricky, remembering that my room is not gonnabe big and all.
I tried a few furniture arrangements, but it didn't quite work out as I expected. Hmm.. Architecture is tough!
With Sherly's help (a self-inspiring architect-to-be), the last arrangement turned out to be a not-bad-plan. Still, I'm not totally satisfied. Not yet. She proposed wardrobe instead of closet, while I am actually DYING to have a closet. Hahaha.
GoogleSearch sucks. I wanted to see what designs of bed could match my room theme, but none of the bed images displayed look outstanding.
Anyway. Still didn't do much stuff except for Taggie's tutorial... Lolz.
Oh yeah, I ran (tried to keep to my twice a week run) but it sucked coz in the middle of the running I felt like peeing. Was struggling to keep my pace while hold my pee (OKAY IT'S DISGUSTING BUT ANYWAY), when it started to drizzle. Okay. No luck today, so I stopped at the 2km mark. WtTooT.
Fungus is back Yayyeeeeeeeeeeeee! No more sleeping with fears (blame The Eye 10 for that. It had the same effect with Sherly!). I couldn't even bring myself to go down to first floor to buy drinks (because of the lift scene) NOR bring myself to the pantry to make some coffee (because was scared of the sound of spoon and cup clashing would attract ghosts).. so I was left dehydrated because of my paranoia. Goodnesss!
Haiyaa.. now I keep thinking and thinking about what my room should look like.. what a distraction. Should have been able to focus more! :(
Off to do my laundry...
2:30 PM
Saturday, March 26, 2005
Ms. Congeniality 2 rocks! (watched it with Asih at Great Wall City.. fab place to watch movie!)
I love the part when Sandra Bullock said something about after being 'different' from the rest of the kids and being the unpopular one for several years, one might get scared to be involved in any relationship at all (with friends or with opp sex).. because one can't help wonder whether one is worth loving.
That aside, it is one funny drama that we gurls should watch :D entertaining! I'd give it 3 stars outta 5.
Came Good Friday, initially I wasted the morning just going online, catching up with friends' lives (u noe, blogs) and updating my song-bank by downloading more songs. After lunch, though, Jol and ChoongYoon (henceforth called Brit) asked me to watch a movie, so we did =D together with EngHooi and YiChin. The movie was The Eye 10 (which, by the way, has no relation with The Eye or The Eye 2), and it was fun! Yupp, I finally can like horror movie! Haha.. it was scary, of course, the face of the ghosts is just so.. unforgettable. At the same time, it was spastic, too LOL. It's like watching a funny horror show (but not quite ScaryMovie-like) and um, I love it! (okay i am soooo making sense here). After that, went shopping at Level One coz Brit said he wanted a chain. Jol and I ended up buying a loop earrings, abt 5cm in diameter +D So happieee. Been wanting such earrings (after my old one rusted).
There goes my dayyyy... without doing any work =(
Today, started off as early as 7.30 am (OKAY, it was more like 7.35 but anyway) because scholars had this ASEAN Undergraduate Scholarship Talk (which, by and large, is rather useless and utterly BORING). The fun part was when I met up with old friendssssss! I MISS THEM SOOO MUCHHHOOO! (quote enquote Erlin). Jackline, Jejes, Merry, EngTze, MELISSA!, Hanh, Lan, and Wan Xin and of course we were soo engrossed by each other we hardly listen to the talk ('twas useless anyway). Catching up with old friend is alwaysssss fun! Oh yeah and I got a belated birthday pressie from Jejes.. a metallic pink lipstick! YAy. I love the colour...
And OMG, Eng Tze has given herself a TATTOOO! Now how cool is that??
I am getting kinda sleepyyyy... bbb..
11:03 AM
Friday, March 25, 2005
Buwahahahhaa.
I love teasing Jazzzzzz and Sherwinnn!!! LOLZ. I love seeing Jazz's red face and "EEeEEEiiii"s as well as Sherwin's attempts to keep a straight face whenever we start teasing.
And teeee-heeee i solved Asih's puzzle on "Petals Around The Rose!"
Actually, the solution isn't totally surprising...
I think I shouldn't have read the Professor's statement on how it involved "simple mathematics", coz it really affected the way I saw the problem.
Hmm, so go figure, peeps!
Teaching Award, here I come! I seriously want to win this, or perhaps even the Teaching Scholarship (whoo big dreamer, am I not? but a girl can dream!). Since my parents don't allow me to study in Indonesia, I should have all rights to decide what I want to do OUTSIDE Indonesia, right? I believe I've put across the message that I might have to convert my citizenship if I continue studying here, but it doesn't seem to be a problem to them, so why not?
Seeing them responding that way, I can't help to think whether or not I am actually worth their love, whether or not they just don't want me to be around.
Celebrated She Weay's birthday yesterday with pizza, soda drinks and coke-bursting (dya call it that?) sessions. Typically teenagey.
Not much of a blogger nowadays, am I? Off to mug...
9:28 PM
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
Haizzz! I don't know why when the last thing I want to think about is my future, suddenly the whole world start to revolve around it.
Like the career talk in school today.
Like the career exhibition.
Like a friend blog's entry.
Like a friend asking my opinion about dropping subject.
The brightsparks talk reinforced my view that it's actually okay to make mistakes about your education choice.. It's not as if I regretted coming to Singapore (I did learn much stuff here), but I don't wanna stay. I wanna go back and go study medicine. Keiz, made a mistake by agreeing coming here (think about the PR-citizenship thing already), and now wanna rectify that mistake by goin back, but parents disagreed :( Just because they don't want to be blamed for choosing the wrong path for me last time. (I don't blame them, 'twas my own decision to come here, but I guess relatives and friends won't think of it that way, so, too bad!)
Career exhibition... was only interested in the MOE teaching scholarship. Guess I'm born to teach. (Anyway, no way of studying Medicine here, me being double-maths student and alll...) The starting salary is almost $3,000 and I didn't mind that lolz. (Haha, that means more about seventeen million rupiahs!!!). So prolly that's it for me if I were to continue studying here.
Quite interested in Bachelor of Science (Real Estate), too, actually =D It has something to do with architecture, civil engineering and finance. Hmm. Multi-disciplinary subject! Dunno la. But the prospect of teaching (and lecturing, and researching) is waaayyyy more tempting to me than trying to estimate the value of property.
Blah blah...
Anyway, what a friend was saying is kinda valid:
When there are all those talks about scholarships and all (and how good you should be in order to get those scholarships), I just can't help feeling so transparent... as if people's eyes can see right through me :( I know most prolly this is only my feeling, but what would tutors and Singaporean students (no offense, really!) be thinking, seeing me and other foreign scholarship holders, being paid for by their government (a.k.a. their parents' money), yet not doing well at all in school?
I don't think I deserve the word "scholar".
And seriously, even if it does look glam and prestigious from outside (even on resume, yes), but then it is seriously not LIKE THAT once you're in.
What is there is just: people's expectation about you and how to meet that expectation. And of course, the feeling as if being watched.
I personally think it will make you accustomed to putting people's interest before you, and you end up having no time for yourself.
btw, click here for a bit of fun:
http://crux.baker.edu/cdavis09/roses.html
10:04 PM
Tuesday, March 22, 2005
Read a friend's blog just now (yup instead of researching for GP), and I came across a phrase that sounds something like this:
"with *peeeeppp* i know i can be myself, i don't need to pretend to be someone who i am not"
and i found myself laughing.
i think it's because we always think that in front of the person we really like/love/are infatuated with, we are supposed to be able to act as ourselves.
but the thing is, this is reallllyyy hard to do.
i've observed, from personal experiences or from friends' experiences, even when i observe mom-dad's relationship, it still doesn't work out that way.
facades are still put, some feelings are suppressed.
come to think of it, will we ever act as ourselves when loved ones are around?
i know we can when good friends are around... but why we insist that in front of someone we like, we would be acting as ourselves? would be feeling comfortable?
argh. i just dont understand la.
i am so tired of the routines. of the usual wake-uppp-in-da-morning and go go catch the bus to school, come back to hostel, dinner-ing and doing homework.
"there's gotta be more to life", said stacey oricco.
i want a break (as if i haven't had one week of them)...
stop this boredom! somebody saves me...
i just wanna LIVE.
like Van Minh. (Jas, tis is referring to ur book...)
9:05 PM
Been long since I was last online.
Mom and Dad came down but most of the days were spent in our room, they kept falling ill and all (fever plus flu). Plus the not-so-good mood they brought since the moment they landed in Singapore.
So, the visit didn't leave much impression on me, let alone motivate me to work hard to make them proud.
If there was any effect, it was successful in boosting my ego.
Because they made it clear to me that my opinion about my own education would never be important enough to change their minds about what I should do for my future.
Since the very beginning, I have shown that I have no interest whatsoever in finance-related stuff or management. It is OBVIOUS that I am destined to do something in the field of Science or Mathematics. Even if I digress, I should be in some scientific fields such as engineering or medicine.
And they keep pushing me to take up some management stuff, some finance stuff, some economics stuff which I have no interest. Just because they want me to make it big in some MNCs.
And I've made it clear that life here is not fulfilling, is too lop-sided. I don't have enough emotional balance, don't have enough joy. I long for my lost and soon-to-be-over teenagehood. I long to be back there, where my roots lie, where my heart belongs.
Yup, and they came down all the way here only to say that I have to, at the very least, study in NUS. If I seriously don't want to, they don't mind sending me off to Canada or Australia and pay for my first year education, but I got to promise that I will win a scholarship/loan/bursary for the subsequent years.
Damnit, what's the point?
They just don't get me.
What the hell.
I don't care already, I don't evel feel like give my future education any thoughts. I don't feel like planning. I just leave it to flow, let God take over, I give up my control. Just do whatever I can do now, don't give a damn about what happens next.
Coz when I insist of controlling my life, SOME PEOPLE will just go and seize that control from me, as if I owe them something.
bye.. must go do my GP examples (wooopie been procastinatin'!)
2:00 PM
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
In her blog, Jasmine said:wHee* =) i feel super in controll of my life when i make a to-do list and i fulfil them slowlyy.jus motivated suddenlyy hehes..
Ummm.. well, I guess I would just follow suit.. Teehee. So here goes the to-do list:
1. F.Maths A tutorial: Equilibrium of Rigid Bodies (freaking hard. I am at question 4 now. With so many blanks).
2. F.Maths B tutorial: Continuous Random Variable.
3. Physics: MCQs of Current Electricity up to Alternating Current. Could be found in TYS, btw.
4. Chemistry: Mahjong papers.. That piece of homework given before school closed and carboxylic acids supplementary questions. And finish up Halogenoalkene tutorial.
5. F. Maths 2004 November paper.
6. GP: S'pore fact sheet, researching various topics and reading war notes.
7. Finish up College Physics where possible.
8. Practice "Hey, Jude" and tremolo..
HAIZ. With so many things in hand (and the fact that I gotta finish it by tomorrow night), what am I doing here???
9:54 PM
Monday, March 14, 2005
Painted the nails of my toes and my left fingers JET-BLACK yesterday night! WHEEEEE! Hahaha... been so long since I broke loose, thus the happiness. :) Thanks to Ying Herng (still wondering whether I spell the name correctly) for lending me the black nail polish ;D
Comments, comments:
Kee Meng-da-president: "Whoa, Marita! You paint your nails black, ah?"
Me: (smile smile but heart says, "I mean, like duhhhh.. you can see it for yourself, Meng.")
Me: (dilligently rehearsing Dance of Yao)
Marcus, da goldfish: (to Meng) "Actually looks quite scary..."
Me: (inevitably distracted from my guitar frets, shot a glare to Marcus)
Marcus: "Woops, that was too loud"
Mr. Liaw: "Yeah, can you practice on bar 19 and 20, ya?" (shaking heads to me)
Clara: "I think he's scared of your fingers"
Me: (nonchalant) "Good, what."
Miak: "MARITAAAA! I love your fingersss!"
Me: "Thank you, thank you!" (heart says, "typically miak..")
Pat: "You use what, ya?"
Me: "Huhh? Nail polish laaaa"
Pat: "Eh! I thought...." (leave things to my imagination)
Xiao Hui: "WHOA! BLACK NAILS!"
Choong Yoon: "Eeeeewwww! Why not paint it rainbow colour instead?"
Me: (rolling eyes)
Nevertheless, guys. I am HAPPY WITH MY NAILS. 'Twas quite a hardwork, you know.
To Winnie:
Allright, class peace be it. I am trying my best to be nice to LKG also, ok? I am definitely not comfortable with the idea of hating someone who doesn't hate me (like, so AP for what??). It seriously drives me crazy!! But anyway, okeyyyyy.. won't give a snort for his every single comments henceforth, won't roll eyes.. will only do them selectively. Hope that would make the class a more peaceful one. It's bad enough that there's segregation between The-Four-Musketeers and Five-Idiots. Let's not make things worsen.
Guitar practice today was quite fruitful. Even for the "Hey, Jude" practice which cost me one-and-a-half-hour after the official prac was over. At least I could play up to box A by then. Teehee. But was quite disappointed by the fact that I had to stay back for that long. Hmmm.. but I believe hardwork has its pay-day.
Damnit, forgot to buy the battery for my pinky radio yet again :(
Really looking forward for Mom-and-Dad's arrival. Come, Thursday, come.
But that reminds me that I gotta finish all the homework by Wednesday night in order to fully enjoy my hols with them. Hmm. Tough, knowing that I have done nothing up to now.. Heeeee.
9:20 PM
Sunday, March 13, 2005
Welcome, March holidays!
Welcome, three long guitar practices :(
Welcome, homework...
Welcome, College Physics by Serway..
(a desperate attempt to boost my understanding of the subject).
Welcome, mother, father! Yay!
They're coming on 17March-20March :D
This is as good as going home for the hols,
without the painful aftermath feeling of homesickness.
Good thing is: not so many of the girls go home this time around...
So I won't feel as bo liao as the CNY holidays.
NUS Open House yesterday.
Getting really really convinced that I'm not going there.
But my determination for studying Medicine is kinda shaken, too
Seeing so many Bio stuff that doctors need to study,
I got pretty turned off; and I am not even sure I could handle Bio.
More and more interested in studying Physics.
Well, let's just wait and see.
The halls are okay only.
Prince George's Park (PGP) Residence is mental-hospital like
Sensed a bit of strangeness in the friendliness and prettiness of Sheares Hall
Almost got scared it turned up to be something like Stepford, hiiiyyy.
Don't like the vastness of the school.
Don't like its far-from-everywhere location, too.
Don't like the number of people admitted there every year, either.
It felt like a university built just to cater for the mass.
Somehow or rather, I'm not comfortable with that idea.
Couldn't even visualize nor feel that I'd be studying there.
Eyes got tired sitting in front of this comp. Goodbye.
8:56 PM
Two days ago was The Day I Turned Nineteen; do I feel I've grown older by one year? Hmm, no, not really; except for the realization that this would be my last year as a teenage. And as Adrian aptly put it, this last year "will be spent in Singapore studying"... As if I have a choice!
Anyway... to the hostel girls: you're all super sweeeeeet =D
Was sound asleep on thursday night due to the usual tireness after school (been a long day of swimming, school, physics talk, physics "S", library duty, hostel monthly b-day celebration...), but the girls entered my room at twelve and sang a birthday song SOO LOUD til I woke up. Haahaa. Salute for the volume! I hardly could be woken up by noises. Maybe it was the smell of the coffee cake, too =D Yayyeeee.. and they all gave me soooo manyyy pressies *happy happy*, some are totally unexpected.. so here goes the thankyou list..
Fungus: yayy! marshmellow with cocoa (or is it the other way around?), blackforest chocolate and a funkeyyy watch! Thankyou thankyouuuu.. I know you want me to drink less coffee.. and I know you want me to be late less often. Hmm. Thoughtful roommate.
Erlin, Sher, Pat, Elv, Irma, Timo, Stan, YiChin, Adrian, Maran: pretty pressie =D a necklace and a pair of earringsssss. Plus the hairy hairy detachable pink lips.. veri huggable. Will be wearing the necklace henceforth. Have been wanting to have one =D
Jol, EngHooi, YingHerng, YenRoo, YiZhen, FuiChin, ChuiFen: RADIO ga-gaaa! Pink colour, some more laaaa.. hahaha. Will be buying the battery sooon. Really. Never expected that fury cute thing to be able to function as a normal radio. Thank-q!
YenYah and SheWeay: a box full of Kopiko! Just what I need.. I always get hungry in the middle of the lesson on Wednesdays and Fridays (blame the lousy timetable). Now that I've got that many sweets, I shan't worry =D And the box is pretty!
Hahaha... and here goes the thank-you list for classmates:
Jony and Asih: egg-shaped dustbin... hahaha.. is it that obvious that my room cannot make it? plus this big snoopy thingy for handphone.. and a cute happy house cup for my coffee!
Winnie and Kargea: (THIS is definitely a slap on my face but anyway) winnie you make this yourself? coool.. and romantic, of course.. appreciate the hardwork :)
Jasmine, Milene and Sarine: wheeeeee! OP bag (Ah-soh? who caresss..) and a pair of v.v.v. beautiful dangling earrings! beautiful!
Kenneth: thanks for the Temasek Idol ticket.. at least I don't have to rot at home on my birthday..
03/04: thanks for the card, guysss!
With that much love received, I am certain I can get through this year (bet it's a rough one..) albeit all the studyings and SYF practices to be done..
Last but not least,
Happy birthday to me... Happy birthday to me...
P.S.
Since a lotttt of people think that I love pink (look at the pressie I got), I might as well act as if I love pink.. Thus, this new layout :p
10:29 AM
Friday, March 11, 2005
why do we hold onto things that only bring us pain?
lately, i've found myself asking this one question over, and over
.i've caught myself dailing his number, texting him while i'm asleep, wakin up in the middle of the night, cryin, and reachin next to me, hoping to find him.
it seems like just yesterday when everything was going just right.
how did things change so quickly?
i'm tryin everythin in my power, just not to shed a tear.
time only brings change and it seems i learned that the hard way.
i just wish i could have frozen everythin durin the time we were together.
he's the first thing i think about i think about when i wake up, the last thing i think about before my eyes close at night, and lord knows how many times i think about him during the day.
this whole thing is just like a terrible nightmare.
life seems so much more complicated without him, but it doesnt seem that much easier with him.
each day is harder, cause he's not there to make me smile.
i just wish he would realize that my world's now in shades of grey, rather than in color, like it used to be.
i miss all the little things that made him stand out from every other guy i've ever met.
i miss our stupid little fights over every lil thing.
i miss see-ing the ever so wide smile on his face that glows with a hi.
i miss him callin me, just to talk about literally nothing.
i miss the what did i call you for reason, i miss the ive called to ask you some very stupid questions.
every day it seems to hurt worse and i don't know how much more i can take.
i thought i was a strong girl, but now, my opinon has seemed to have changed.
why must you still dwell on the past and not move on to accept someone new.
its not a tradition you should follow and i might just be the right one.
i keep thinking its because the feelings are not mutual but it dont seem to be the case.maybe the problem is i cared way too much, and you never really cared enough.
maybe you lied to spike me half the timey.
i lose sleep every night, tossin and turnin, just wondering if you're alright.
wondering if someday you would tell me you have given up on her and decided that its me that you loved.
i'll crumble, and tell you how much i missed you.
i will tell you all these while how ive been feeling and how long ive waited.
with tears in my eyes, telling you.
having you is a dream come through.
but i know when i wake up, everything just disappears.
its a dream, and its never a reality.
[stolen]
'twas an entry from a friend's blog.. beautiful, in a sad way. but sometimes i am just amazed by how much a person can actually loves someone until it doesn't matter even if it hurts. hmm. yet to feel it! as jolene and i was discussing, "will we ever fall in love?"
good question, no answer! haa.
will blog about my birthday tomorrow or later at night.. for now, i shall go for fm lecture. yayeee.
10:05 PM
Thursday, March 10, 2005
NG ENG TZE LET'S MEET UP! IT'S MARCH HOLSSS!It's Winnie's birthday today and the whole class was kind of happy. Haha. That's good. I mean, 03/04 is hardly "happy togetherrrrrr", quote enquote the song.
Couldn't go for the celebrations, though; mainly because I have commitments to attend to. (Um, Physics 'S' and library duty..). Actually, if I was able to make it, I would rather not go also... I mean, I know I should be happy celebrating my good friend's birthday BUT I CAN HARDLY STAND THE SIGHT OF LKG, so forget it. If I go, I might only spoil the atmosphere (because he WILL, in my opinion, spoil the whole thing.. he is damn good at making you feel as if you aren't there, so why should I be obliged not to spoil his time, too??) Blaaaa blaaaa i dun like him... He spoiled my gamma night. Luckily a few moments after he's at the table, Pat's band started performing (i.e. i had an excuse to leave that table).
Anyway. Couldn't coordinate properly, therefore must go for two swimming lessons next term. Hahhaha. Congratulations, no need to run! But Taggie maluated me in front of the class about it (though, to think about it, it didn't really matter!).
Early b-day pressie from Kenneth: a tix to Temasek Idol. Another one will be comin tomorrow. Be watching with Erlin :) Well, at least it's something that I can associate with birthday celebration.. as compared to just being stuck in Beethoven's Room for guitar (not that I dread Friday pracs).
On my way back from school after library, saw Adrian coming up the bus that I boarded at the backgate bus stop! Whoa, it reminds me that it's really been LONGGGGGG since the last time we happen to go back together after school! Funny arh, knowing that both of us live in the same place and are in the same class yet hardly talking to each other? :P Dunno how things got so, hm, complicated. Haiya blame him la, so scary for what... Eh, but today he's quite nice laaa..
Ei, teacher's here.. GTG.. bb..
9:21 PM
Monday, March 07, 2005
Chem SPA was funny. For the first time in my entire life, I COULD GET SOME CRYSTALS. The bad part was, it was supposed to be a white, powdery aspirin; but what I got was a yellowish-white, rather needle-like aspirin. Bwahahhaa. Of course, in the end I resolved to submitting the crude product :) That aside, Leonard told me (dunno whether it's reliable or not) I got all ticks bwahahahhaa. Those ticks are kind of no use lah, coz I don't think I have a problem with my first two skill Bs. Screwed up my skill D, though, I just had some black out and I couldn't remember any sentence from page two of model answer.... :( Guess I still have to do that skill D for Thermochem next term. Whatever lah. Anything that would help me pull up my grades, please.
Hmmmm.. half-day didn't leave me any impression, though. It felt even a bit boring...
Fell into an awkwardness with a friend today. DUNNO LAH I JUST CAN'T SEEM TO AGREE TO HER AT ALL.
"But Marita, you can't see friendship as just like that. I mean, it's not about the money. It's not as if everyday you have birthday, what?"
And she was responding to my complain about three-digit-figure pressie that some of us was planning to give to a friend and how i see there is really no point of giving three-digit-pressie while we have to struggle living with an allowance of $200-$300 per month.
Of course, seeing that my opinion won't get in the way and that her opinion will never get into her head either, I dismiss it with a simple, "I have my reasons."
C'mon la. If she thinks that friendship isn't supposed to be measured that way, then what is it with her treasuring the 98-bucks mango stuff, or the 100-over bucks given by sec-school friends or the 1000-pcs puzzle given by a girl in our class? These stuff obviously cost a bomb; and that's why she likes them? WHAT THE HELL. I mean, if you're going to measure depth of friendship that way, I don't give a fuck already. We're just students, for goodness' sake.
On a less bitchy note,
I regretted buying that instant noodle. It sucks.
Byebye.
8:37 PM
everytime we lie awake
after every hit we take
every feeling that i get
but i haven't missed you yet
every room-mate kept awake
by every sigh and scream we make
all the feelings that i get
but i still don't miss you yet
only when i stop to think about it
i hate everything about you
why do i love you
i hate everything about you
why do i love you
everytime we lie awake
after every hit we take
every feeling that i get
but i haven't missed you yet
only when i stop to think about it
i hate everything about you
why do i love you
i hate everything about you
why do i love you
only when i stop to think about you,i know
only when you stop to think about me,do you know
i hate everything about you
why do i love you
you hate everything about me
why do you love me
i hate
you hate
i hate
you love me
i hate everything about you
why do i love you
[three days grace]
9:50 PM
Friday, March 04, 2005
Wheeeeeee! Monday is gonnabe a half-day lalala...
coz I can't stand her already..
can't stand seeing LooLoo for two hours up there..
don't care whether she's good or not..
lost respect lost admiration lost everything byebye..
hahaha.. I dun care..
I like the subject but I don't like the teacher so what's new?
I like maths but i dun like taggie too.
I like mechanics but i dun like lee too.
So condescending for what? Ya la ya la I failed both of ur test but so what?
I like baby goh but my chem is never good.
Dun care dun care let's be an AP girl.
ANYWAY.
Zhong Yi (hope got that spelling correct) was darn funny during guitar prac! Bwahahahha. He's supposedly my stand partner. However, since today Mr.Liaw asked us to do the proper pose for classical guitar, this partner wanted to shift one seat to the right (in order to get more space). The funny part was, before he shifted, he asked me, "Do you mind if I move there?". Bwahahhahaaaaaa! What did he mean by "DO YOU MIND"????? Like, ask my permission for whattt? So funny la.. Prime 1 rocks. Even the President could be funny sometimes huahahaha.
Next up. Gamma House Function! Ben's Band rocksssssssss! I still love Box Car Racer's "There Is" after they played it... means they did IT! Hahahaha.. Didn't know that Ben was good (or rather, never wanted to admit that he's good :P). And Pat was so cool and so rock-guitarist-like laaaaa. Adrian stoned most of the time, though (so what's new??), so it looked kinda funny. I mean, among the act-cool Stan and cool Pat and didn't-know-that-he's-actually-quite-cool Johan, there stood the stoned Adrian. Bwahahahhaha.
Gotta goooo....!
9:16 PM
Wednesday, March 02, 2005
Five hours of guitar today! OMG, it is sort of driving me crazy--not exactly in a bad way, prolly more towards the feeling of being overwhelmed by the length of the practice itself. Prime 1 of Dance of Yao People (somebody conveniently calls it D.O.Y, which sounds not bad really) ROCKS, I tell you. Yes, we rock! Haha. We have funny peeps around! Marcus who always does the Goldfish mouth when he plays; the year-one junior (hey, i know the name, it's just i don't know how to spell) who always looks sleepy; the president who always attempts to get the rest of the group to practice properly; clara who is superduper crappy; pat with her poifull-pacifier(eventhough she's absent today) and of course, our ever-dearest-and-most-patient-and-best-in-guitar HL (milk, haha). Whee, I love my group :D But allright, I take the point that we need to work harder for subsequent practices..
Physics test.. was another screw up. I confirm myself of getting a fail this time.. if I could reach the double-digit mark zone, I'd be more than happy already. Wth! After the test, strangely, I don't really care anymore. As in, I gave it my best shot; so, I shall have nothing to worry about. Haiya. Just a test la.
Got an interesting piece of news from Winnie today about how sweet LKG treats his girlfriend. I am ALMOST touched. (Almost).
What else is there to say? Oh yeah. That I am convinced today that I won't continue my education here or overseas? Well, this shouldn't sound new at all.. it's just that.. the more I think about it today, the more I am convinced. So should I drop S-papers and enjoy myself more? Guess no.. if I have to leave this life next year, I might as well try to experience all the hecticness, the heavy schedules, the stress, etc., so that I know I have live 'it'. Yupz. (as in, what's the point of studying in the comfort of the confine of my home, with the slow pace in Indo, if over here I can slack, too?).
Okay.. I feel quite sleepy. Think I should sleep soon :D I love sleeping after schooldays!
6:05 PM
Tuesday, March 01, 2005
My test results are totally fucked up. Needless to be said, I am referring to mechanics.
If this will make some people will rather relieved, I get a pathetic 5/20. My last one was 4/25. So in total is..? Yup. 9/45. And if one is good enough to make it to pass primary school maths, that would add up to a total of twenty percents. Congratulations!
It didn't matter whether I studied, whether I did the tuts, whether I listened to lecture. I still fail. Either accept this failure and give up or accept and fix it. And for once today I am actually not so sure which one to choose! How could I?
Anyway. Passed maths "S" selection test, but stupidly lost four marks just becoz I never explain properly :(
Ehh, since when my life revolves around test marks only? This is wayyy saddddd. I am off to take some nap before mugging for tomorrow's physics.. Wish me luck, pple!
By the way, he still looked good today! Argh that hairrrrrrrr! And tomorrow's the long-awaited Wednesday, coz it's green-u day! Wheee!