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lil bit about me..
born and grew in surabaya
spent some time in singapore, learning about life
currently in jatinangor, pursuing dreams of life
likes coffee, good read, dr.gregory house, and sushi
hates being ill
enjoy reading!
marita
8:13 PM
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
Today went like shit, except for the part where Timothy paid for my taxi fare. It's not everyday that he's THAT nice, you know. And except for the part where I got my specs repaired YIPPIE! But then that means I have to survive the next few weeks with fewer bucks, damnit. Oh yeah, one more thing, found out a little more to contribute to The Bigger Picture of PHYSICS SPA SKILL D Exam, thanks to Chun Kiang. Haha.
ANYWAY.
It was like shit because, mainly, I discovered truth in what people say: that he is such an unapproachable person. How come I have never seen that before? I mean, today, I talked to him face-to-face and yup, he was kind of screaming at me (okay, perhaps it wasn't that bad, but he certainly raised his voice to me, something he has NEVER done before). And made a very pissed-off kind of face. And worse oh worse: of all people that I got to sit with for today's dinner, it was him! And of course, despite sitting at the same table, despite the rest of us happily chatting, he refused to open his mouth. He did not say a single word, not even to his friends (oh let alone to me).
I swear he never raised his voice to me before. Made me feel stupid, yes, but never raising his voice. I am sad, so sad.
I was gloomy throughout the way home after repairing my specs, but then again I asked myself the same question that I have always been asking, "If the world is open to all possibilities, would you love him or would you hate him?" And my answer is still the same. Maybe that's what makes it even more saddening. Despite everything, I found myself still loving him as much as before.. Feels kinda poopified.. becoz.. this is not as if I don't have a choice! I DO! But I choose to suffer, damn it..
CUT THE CRAP. I gotta go do work. Or perhaps take nap..